Where are you?

For the past month or so our community has been wrestling with the idea of being together. Last night, at our housegroup, Phil put out some words and ideas that neatly defined the problems we are facing, not only as people, but also as a community of believers.

As people, we tend to avoid one another's pain. It is embarrassing, it is awkward, it is uncomfortable. We might be unable to help (and helplessness is so embarrassing and awkward) or worse, we might be reminded of our own pain. We rarely linger in the presence of someone else's pain - strangely denying them what is possibly the only effective salve we (as people) might have to offer - our attention.

As believers, we often gather together as the 'devout' (although in recognition of what we all actually are, we should more accurately be described as the 'devout-in-progress'). However, gathering as the 'devout' means we gather as those 'masked before men' (as Phil tellingly put it). And yet our masks, in a bitter twist, only serve to isolate us from one another and make it harder to unmask ourselves - pretending to be normal becomes normal.

'Hey... how are you?'

'Good thanks - and you?' 

'Oh fine' 

You know how it goes.

Reading this and looking through this today raised this again in my mind. The partying friends who, in doing their best to be lively and fun, avoided that which could have helped the most. The wife who died alone - unable to bear her husband and children being with her. The man who died in silence - yet diligently recording his football team's progress.

But if suffering causes isolation, and an antidote is to suffer together, how do we bear this? Can we bring ourselves to utter the words 'Here I am... where are you?'